Learn the difference between active and passive listening and discover how active listening can strengthen your relationships

Is there a difference between hearing and listening? Definitely. Hearing is the act of receiving sounds and tones. It’s more the perception that noise is happening and doesn’t require concentration or a clear understanding of what is being said. Think of the voices in the background of any movie scene—it’s just muffled sounds with no meaning attached. Listening means actively paying attention to the words and sounds you hear so you comprehend what they mean. It involves thoughtful attention and using more senses than just your ears.

The act of listening can be further broken down into active listening and passive listening. When it comes to interactions and relationships, the difference between these two types of listening is important.

A person who engages in passive listening may have her ears open, but she is disconnected. She may agree or disagree with what the person is saying, but either way, she’s not interested in participating in the conversation. An active listener, on the other hand, is curious and wants to engage. She approaches a discussion with empathy, effort and an open mind. An active listener genuinely wants to have a meaningful conversation and is ready to understand the speaker, and if necessary, work together to solve a problem.

Effective communication requires active listening, so if you have been known to lend a passive ear, it’s time to sharpen your active listening skills.

Listen more than you speak. It’s hard to listen when you’re talking, so to fully understand the other person’s perspective, aim for a ratio of more listening than talking. For example, try 40 percent talking and 60 percent listening.

Agree to disagree. Active listening doesn’t mean you have to share an opinion with the person speaking; it just means you must try to understand and respect his or her perspective.

Ask thoughtful questions. Active listening requires curiosity. When you ask questions that relate to the topic of discussion, it shows you are listening and want to learn more.

But don’t interrupt. In a lively conversation, it’s tempting to cut others off before they’ve finished speaking. Active listening involves reading cues that a person has finished her thought and then allowing a few moments of pause before you jump in.

Make eye contact. To listen actively, you must give your full attention. Look at the person the whole time she is talking. Avoid listening to anything in the background or checking your phone.

Reflect the message. Repeat what you just heard back to the speaker in your own words. This will show you understand and are engaged. If anything is unclear, ask for clarification.

As you work to become a better listener, keep in mind that active listening benefits not only the speaker but also the listener. Active listening will help you make and sustain genuine friendships, preserve memories, resolve conflicts, pass along family stories and gain knowledge. It’s an important part of living a mindful life.